It’s no secret that Dallas and I are Robb Wolf students and followers, and I’ve been asked many times to personally comment on the Robb Wolf de-affiliation. There’s no reason to add fuel to the fire over here, which is why I’ve voiced my personal opinions in private. I will say, however, that it’s a shame for all of us that the CrossFit community has lost two of its most valuable, educated and accomplished coaches. It’s also a shame that we, as a group, have spent so much time following the drama – time that could have been spent training, coaching, mentoring and learning.
However, Dallas and I felt that as a registered CrossFit Affiliate, we needed take a formal position on recent events. We decided that Dallas would act as our official CrossFit Whole9 spokesperson, and issued a statement in response to Robb’s de-affiliation announcement.
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Robb,
You and Nicki have been good to us, and we appreciate that. We have and will continue to be vocal supporters of your training methods, professional conduct, and (science-based!) nutritional practices. You’d be proud – I ate ~4000 calories of good, clean, Paleo food between 7PM and bedtime last night. Greg’s programming is making me HUNGRY.
Dallas!
How the hell did you do that!? Give us a break down on the damage.
Thanks for the support WTW.
Robb,
Here’s the breakdown from last night’s madness:
Post-workout Meal 1 (around 7:30): 6 egg whites, 1 whole egg, 2 medium-large sweet potatoes.
Meal 2 (half an hour later): 10 oz local, organic, grass-fed sirloin steak (rare, of course!), 12 oz broccolini, 4 oz almonds, 1 pear.
Meal 2.5 (dessert from Meal 2, really): 1 can (14 oz) coconut milk, 3 oz walnuts, 1/2 cup frozen blueberries, 1/2 cup frozen raspberries.
Meal 3 (about 90 minutes after 2.5): the second 10 oz sirloin steak I grilled for Meal 2, 2 Jazz apples with about half a jar of Sunbutter, and about 1.5 cups of sweet potato mash.
Meal 4: 5 hard-boiled eggs, 6 oz fresh blackberries, a big handful of brazil nuts.
Meal 5: 8 oz smoked salmon, half a honeydew melon (a DELICIOUS combination, BTW), and some sauteed zucchini/onions with fresh basil and lime juice.
“Meal” 6: an unrevealed (but very large) amount of Purely Decadent Mint Chip coconut milk “ice cream”. This stuff is CRACK. Be warned. Melissa introduced me to their Chocolate Explosion flavour, and we’ve been spreading the Decadent Love ever since.
And… I woke up RAVENOUS this morning.
Be well, my friend.
dude…you are a MACHINE!! All hail The Dallas!!
Renee@Dallas: Try Coconut Bliss’ “Mint Galactica” next time. I prefer theirs to Purely Decadent.
@Renee,
I’ll try the Coconut Bliss, if for no other reason than they make a dessert with the word “Galactica” in the name. That’s just over-the-top enough to get my attention. Though, if it’s any better than the Purely Decadent, I might be in trouble. Thanks for the recommendation.
Robb, have you noticed how I’ve ever-so-subtly distracted folks from the un-fun discussion of HQ politics by talking about frozen desserts?
Yea dude, and they made haste in your direction. I nominate you for the next cult leader. This one will be based around ice cream.
I’m in.
JesseIce cream cult? Brilliant! I’ve even got the Catechism right here!
We begin our profession of faith by saying: “I believe” or “We believe”. Before expounding the Church’s faith, as confessed in the Cream, celebrated in the Ice and lived in observance of Ice Cream’s commandments and in prayer, we must first ask what “to believe” means. Faith is man’s response to Ice Cream, which reveals itself and gives itself to man, at the same time bringing man a superabundant light as he searches for the ultimate meaning of his life of creaminess.
(I could go on, but I wouldn’t want any roman catholics out there to hate me too much)
Robb, let me say in this public forum that my Coconut Cult will learn to quantify their frozen desserts in a very precise manner. Or else. You still in?
dude, it’s ICE CREAM. So long as I can weigh and measure by the litre I’m in. No smaller increments however.
I hereby decree that members of my Coconut Cult (”CocoNutties” – thanks Melissa) will quantify their frozen dessert ONLY by the litre. (Robb, I like the way you think.) If you are unable to commit your Dessert Soul to this worthy cause, you will be excommunicated and will bear the title of Dessert Infidel forever more. Jesse, apparently you instilled some potent (read: dangerous) religious fervor in me. Ha.
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And therein lies our official position on recent events. What have we learned from this unfortunate situation? Dallas eats A LOT. Robb likes ice cream. Anything with “Galactica” in the title is probably delicious. And I am good at coming up with clever names for made-up entities like Dallas’ new Coconut Cult. I hope you agree that this has truly been time well spent.
Author’s Note: I’d like to add that, while Dallas’ coconut dessert choice isn’t technically “Paleo”… we also don’t care. Sure, it’s processed and includes some emulsifiers… but as a dessert choice, and as a dairy-free, gluten-free substitute for “real” ice cream, Turtle Mountain’s “Purely Decadent” line is a winner all around. I recommend the Mint Chip, which gives Breyer’s a serious run for its money. The ingredients are below – Grok may not have eaten it, but WE sure as heck will.
INGREDIENTS: ORGANIC COCONUT MILK, ORGANIC AGAVE SYRUP, CHOCOLATE FLAKE (BEET SUGAR, COCONUT OIL, COCOA PROCESSED WITH ALKALI, CHOCOLATE LIQUOR, SOYA LECITHIN, VANILLA), CHICORY ROOT EXTRACT, CAROB BEAN GUM, GUAR GUM, MINT FLAVOR.
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On Ice Cream, the whole world can agree.
I'm feeling a little emotional…someone HOLD me!!
From Robb:
Robb Wolf has left a new comment on your post “Our official response to the Robb Wolf situation”:
On Ice Cream, the whole world can agree.
I’m feeling a little emotional…someone HOLD me!!
My two favorite men = Ben & Jerry…
Robb, maybe your emotional lability is because you've already exceeded your DED (Daily Espresso Dose) See http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18378115. Ha. (I write this with a cup of black French roast in my hand…)
Oh my god, yes. Sign me up for the Coconut Cult immediately; just give me the address to send my $5.95 for my membership card and spoon.
And thank you for addressing the important issues here, MB.
I aspire to one day eat 4000 calories in a five-hour period AND loudly crow about it.
I just need to… what?… Grow a foot taller, learn to jump on stuff that looks insurmountable, and regularly lift things that weigh as much as a Volkswagen.
How hard could that be?
:-)
Oh, Dallas… I'm doing my 12 Days of Christmas Workout tomorrow and I'm dedicating it to you. HA!
So lets see… Ice Cream? Check. BSG? Check (wathing it now as we speak!!!). 4000 calories? Thats a meal. Lifting heavy shit? Definitely check (Squats, Presses, and DLs tonight). Well damn, now were talking. This is a cult I can be a part of. Now that other crap, Ill leave that BS at the door.
Mel, I'm honored you're dedicating your Christmas workout to me – as long as you subbed out the burpee box jumps in favour of BW DLs! ;) Let us know how it goes for you. I think I've talked Melissa into doing it on Christmas Day. Really.
Justin! We'd be honored to have you as a Cult Member. Mostly because I'd be afraid you'd tear me in half with your bare hands if I said no ;) How are things in the Big Apple?
Dallas, I'm doing my 12 Days of CrossFit Christmas workout in my yard… and there will be no BW DLs. BURPEE BOX JUMPS for CHRISTMAS!!!
But I promise to do BW DLs on Monday morning. 5X5. Also dedicated to you.
We have a seriously all-star Cult here. I vote that every Friday, we worship the French Toast Casserole, and that our uniforms include arm warmers. For the ladies. And Struck, of course. (Where is he? Our Cult is not complete without Struck…)
If I could stick my hand through my computer screen and grab that container of Purely Decadent coconut milk mint chip ice cream, I surely would. I can’t resist it. It is insanely delicious.
If I could stick my hand through my computer screen and grab that container of Purely Decadent coconut milk mint chip ice cream, I surely would. I can’t resist it. It is insanely delicious.
@Adam: You are SO IN. Your membership is gratis, of course. Plus you already shave your head, so that’s one less thing you have to do.
@Angel: My sister calls it “Crack in a Pint”. I’ve managed to push it on everyone in my family, under the “your first spoonful is free” protocol. The Chocolate Obsession is also pretty irresistible.
Ha ha. I am very amused by the "For the ladies. And Struck, of course." comment. Maybe I'm just jealous. Of how good he looks in arm warmers. (If nothing else, Struck, I've still got my AssFit shirt, and you don't.)
Mel, I'll accept your Deadlift Penance for your Burpee Sins ;) Take pics of your workout for us! (We prefer costumes for holiday-themed workouts, BTW.)
Costume? Photos? You're speakin' my language… stay tuned.
Wow, so many of my favorite people, all right here! Melissa and Dallas, I miss you SO much. Please come back soon! :) Amy, you come back too! Your visit was way too short! Robb, I will meet you at your place on Jan. 30th. I cannot wait!
As far as official positions go, I think this is the best one I've seen to date.
Also, I will continue to plug Coconut Bliss. :D
I LOVE the chocolate version of this… I bought it on a whim, cause I don’t do “milk”, the first spponful was like one of those moments where the clouds part, angels sings, eyes dialate..the cocoa, the slight coconut, so creamy…. it felt like time stopped for a sec….
It was weird no other food I can remember has EVER done that.
Moderator!
OFF TOPIC!
:)
Also; I will not join any cult without a T Shirt. A plethora of T Shirts.
And they need to reasonably sized.
The one you gave me two weeks ago is comically small/obscenely tight.
Hrm… so… since I apparently inspire Dallas, and he is the prophet of the CocoNutties… does that mean I could worm my way into an discipleship? I could totally preach the faith and spread it to countries beyond! All hail Dallas and get your communion cups and get filled with the power of the Nutty Awesomeness!
Could you conceivably put the aforementioned Coconut Ice Cream over, say, a Cherry Chocolate Et Cetera? What?!? You don’t know how to make a Cherry Chocolate Et Cetera? For shame. Here go:
3/4C toasted brown rice (the Gf, Vegan stuff… not Rice Krispies)
3/4C puffed brown rice (see above… not corn pops)
2oz dried cherries (chopped, unsweetened)
1oz all-fruit raspberry preserves
1/3C slivered almonds
1 1/2 C chocolate chips (Live Simply brand – GF, Vegan, Soy-Free, Organic, stuff)
1/2tsp vanilla
mix the rice and almonds and cherries (remember to chop ’em)
double-boil the chocolate until almost fully melted (leave chunks, you will thank me for this)
mix in vanilla
QUICKLY mix in rice/almond/cherry mixture and stir until everything is coated in chocoate
spoon or mellon-ball onto a sheet pan covered with parchment paper
chill (the Et Ceteras and you)
eat with Coconut Ice Cream
OR
call or email 13thcookie@gmail.com (207.899.3874) and I’ll make them for you… and maybe some other stuff, too.
this post and subsequent drool brought to you by 13th COOKIE. enjoy.
Big Apple is ok, except for all this damn snow!!! Im still a FL boy no longer how long Ive been here now.. Cult is on!!! Leslie actually whipping up a French Toast Caserole now for Xmas! May give it to Bauer if he earns it but he needs to be 200lbs by new years!
“It’s also a shame that we, as a group, have spent so much time following the drama – time that could have been spent training, coaching, mentoring and learning.”
Amen to that.
Dallas or Melissa,
You guys have an official stance on agave nectar/syrup? I noticed it was an ingredient in Purely Decadent (crack), which this comments section introduced me to. I’ve read “not paleo”, “97% fructose & 3% glucose”.