I have received at least 72 emails from people asking about the AssFit shirt featured in a few of my prior posts. (I’m wearing one in my TGU/windmill video, and Dallas is wearing one in the pictures from our recent gymnastics cert.) Rather than respond individually, I thought it best if I addressed your questions in a public forum. So what is AssFit, and where did it come from?
It started last year, when Dallas (my trainer) and I started talking about meeting for an all-day training session. We don’t get together as often as we’d like (we live 2.5 hours apart), so he had the idea to cram a bunch of training related material into a full day’s session. It would involve some lecture on programming and exercise theory, some actual coaching on foundational movements and a “discussion” about my “diet” (translation: Dallas explains to me yet again why I’m not eating enough). We speculated, given the wide variety of topics we planned to cover, that our session would look kind of like a CrossFit Level 1 Certification.
And now, a quick point about Dallas… he’s an Ass. Literally, that is my very special, very affectionate nickname for him. Ass. It’s not just because he is ridiculously tough on me, although he is. It’s more that he likes to makes fun of me, he refuses to let me get away with ANYTHING and he always has some smart-ass/punk-ass/jackass comment at the ready. So, I call him Ass. And when the idea of his “cert-style” training session started to take shape, I jokingly started referring to it as AssFit.
The title caught on, and we started making all kinds of plans for AssFit. We settled on one particular Sunday in May, starting at 8 AM, with a few hours of lecture and a full day of training. So while he was busy preparing course materials, programming ideas and nutrition guidelines, I started to make my OWN secret preparations. An idea had started to take shape, and my graphic design skills were about to come in handy.
When he showed up on Sunday morning, Dallas found me, coffee in hand, ready to begin our day… and proudly rockin’ the official t-shirt of the AssFit Level I Certification.
It was one of the few times I genuinely surprised him – he finally stopped laughing long enough to ask if I brought one for him. I sported the shirt through all of AssFit, and even wore it through town later that day. The lady behind the counter of the natural food store was like, “Um, what’s Diesel Fitness?” She was too polite to make a comment about the “Ass” part, and we weren’t quite sure how to answer her anyway.
That shirt has become the favorite item in both of our closets. I wear mine to the gym all the time, and Dallas wears his every chance he gets – especially if there’s a photo opportunity. His is so worn out that I had to make him a new one this week – and I’m planning to order him a back-up, just so he doesn’t have to go a single day without one.
And on that note, now would be a good time to direct your attention to the Official AssFit FAQ. Please familiarize yourselves with these materials before posting a comment or sending me an email.
Q: Are you making fun of CrossFit?
A: Not at all. I’m making fun of DALLAS.
Q: Does AssFit really make your butt look good?
A: While that was not the inspiration for the moniker, I suppose the answer is yes.
Q: Can I buy an AssFit t-shirt?
A: No, you can not.
Q: Will you send me an AssFit t-shirt?
A: No, I will not.
Q: Can I borrow your AssFit t-shirt?
A: Not a chance.
Q: Can I review the AssFit Certification materials?
A: Dallas says you have to register for his certification to gain access to the course materials.
Q: Can I register for an AssFit Certification?
A: No, you can not. Dallas created AssFit just for me, and I don’t share.
Q: If I see you and Dallas out in public somewhere, can I call him an Ass?
A: If you do, one of us will kick your ass. And it will not be him.
And there you have it. I’m a little possessive of Dallas, he’s a little possessive of our special certifications and we’re both completely possessive of AssFit. So you’ll have to admire our shirts from afar… but you can see one live and in person this weekend at Guerrilla Fitness in Montclair, NJ. Dallas is headed down for his CrossFit Level 1 Cert, and he’ll be proudly representing the 603 AND AssFit.
AssFit Level I Certification, May 2008. And Dallas, sporting HIS AssFit at the Gymnastics Cert.
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